spicy italian stuffed shells

Whew, birthday season during grief. What a doozy, huh?

I had a really hard time with my birthday this year - which I have to be honest, I wasn’t expecting. It’s not particularly tied to any moments related to losing my uncle except, of course, he’s not here.

And that’s what I struggled with in the days leading up to it: he wouldn’t be here to wish me a happy birthday, and then wouldn’t be here to roast me the next day after for being old, so very old! He wouldn’t get photos from my celebrations. He wouldn’t send a card.

Most importantly, this year my birthday meant becoming an age that my uncle will never know me at - and that was hardest of all.

I knew waking up that Thursday morning, I’d officially cross a threshold that, though it seems arbitrary, felt impossible to me: officially going from “Tim knew me, talked to me, loved me, made me laugh at this age” to “Tim will never know me at this age, I left the age he knew me at behind and - oh yeah - he’ll never know me at another new age ever again.”

WHEW.

So what did I do? Reader, I got the hell out of dodge. Packed up, left, and spent time trying to process, something I’m beginning to realize I’ve done shockingly little of.

Someone I respect a lot asked me a great question in the days leading up to my birthday - What do you know right now that you didn’t know at this time last year?

I can sum it up like this:

1. You have more time than you think, so slow down and rest. But -

2. You have less time than you want with the people you most want to spend it with. So -

3. You will never, ever, regret making time for them,

So, in honor of my birthday and in honor of Tim, I’d like to suggest something with this recipe - make it for some people you love the most and eat it alongside them. What a wonderful way to spend your life.

 SPICY ITALIAN STUFFED SHELLS

Ingredients:

1 12 oz bag jumbo stuffed shells

1 lb ground spicy Italian chicken sausage

Marinara sauce (note below)

14 oz ricotta cheese

16 oz bag shredded low-fat mozzarella cheese

1 cup grated parm (+ more for topping)

8 oz goat cheese

Salt

Pepper

Red pepper flakes

Note:

You’ll need a recipe of your favorite marinara sauce for this – the one we used I can’t give away ;). If you’re looking for a quick red sauce, I’m a big fan of Marcella Hazan’s.

Instructions:

1.     Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line your baking dish(es) with ½ cup of marinara sauce.

2.     Cook the pasta shells according to the package until al dente. Let cool.

3.     Cook the sausage, breaking up along the way, in a pan over medium heat until browned and cook through.

4.     Mix the sausage with the cheese thoroughly, adding 1-2 tablespoons of sauce (not enough to make it soupy, just enough to tinge it pink & give it a slight hint of the sauce).

5.     Stuff each shell & nestle them into the dishes.

6.     Add ¼ - ½ cup of sauce over the top of the shells and lightly sprinkle with parm.

7.     Cook for 30 minutes. Then, turn on your broiler and broil for 5-10 minutes, depending on how quickly they get crispy!

ALSO GOOD – If you have homemade pesto lying around, dollop it on top of the shells in the dish before baking!